I was probably a bit delirious-and definitely stoned-when I walked into a popular 24 hour coffee shop and bakery. I brought my laptop in, ordered a hot lemon and ginger tea and a couple of snacks, and went to sit down in a comfortable looking chair. This chair was situated along with another chair opposite a couch, with a coffee table between them. The couch and other chair backed up to a wall… But my chair’s back was to another table in a fairly high traffic area of the shop. As soon as I sat down I wanted to get up and move to the other chair, but I didn’t want to look stupid. I don’t know why I thought it would look stupid, as if someone was going to observe this and lean to their companion and whisper, “Hey. Look at that idiot. She can’t decide which chair she wants to sit in.”
After a minute or two I decide to move, but as I start to get up and go to the other chair some stranger comes to my little corner and asks if anyone is sitting there. “No, go ahead,” I say. He looks relieved and sits down. This man seemed to be about 37 years old, he was probably six feet tall and he had a big beer belly. It made me gag on the inside, which I know sounds mean… But I don’t care, you can’t help what kind of people give you a gag on the inside. It was as disgusting as seeing a raw hot dog… A raw hot dog gut gag. He had a big face and looked like his name was Matt.
Matt had on khaki cargo shorts, some nondescript graphic tee, and boat shoes. His skin was so pale it was almost pink, and he had a bald head. Fuck. I was already irritated at my positioning in the furniture and now I had to sit beside Matt. He plugs his headphones into his laptop, places them upon his wide, round head, and starts to listen to music. I can hear it, too. We all can. His headphones are not plugged all the way into the jack on his laptop and he has no idea. He only knows that he just plugged headphones in and he can now hear the shitty Zero7-meets-Meatloaf bullshit he’s jamming down hard on. A few other people notice but no one says anything. I just try not to look at him.