Your Mobile Phone is Shit

So, It’s come to this. I’m writing a goddamn article to vent some frustration at the idiocy of twat fanboy phone nobheads.

Android or iPhone? Which are you? You’re pretty much one or the other. I’m Android. Always have been. Tried using an iPhone for a while, but it made me so frustrated it wasn’t funny. I don’t understand why it’s so fucking closed to any real customisation. There is no question that it’s a wonderful idea (OS speaking), the hardware looks boss, it’s user-friendly to the max and has instigated a genuine public interest in a ‘gadget’ like never before (XBOX vs Playstation was interesting, but only to a tighter network of geeks). It was the first proper smartphone, and I thank Apple for bringing it to us, because without it, there probably wouldn’t be anything like Android.

Android is truly the public’s choice. Market share of phones using the OS went ballistic in a short space of time. The world’s biggest manufacturer of mobile phones isn’t Nokia anymore, thank god. It’s Samsung, and whilst I’m not massively impressed with their hardware, they certainly churn out and sell a fuckload – so they must be popular. My choice of mobile is the Huawei Ascend P1 if you were wondering… oh you weren’t? Well bollocks – I’ve told you anyway. It truly is the greatest phone I’ve ever owned (apart from a HTC One X that I did have, but left on a shelf in a supermarket like the pillock that I am… and no insurance…). It does everything I want. In a geek way. I control all the multimedia at home with it (Spotify/ VLC). I VPN to foreign countries to watch TV that is geographically locked. And I do all the usual stuff that I know iPhone can do. However, I do it with style, and grace and true productivity. My launcher of choice is TSF Shell (, and literally shits all over iOS’s rather simple folder designs and homescreens.

Yes, iOS is pretty. Yes, it’s functional and everyone can use it without too much tutorial. And if you like that sort of thing – it’s perfect for you. But it hasn’t evolved. It’s still the same layout as 2006. On the flip side though, the fact that your next TV/hand held gaming system/GPS/vanity mirror ( (yes, really: is going to have Android integrated has to tell you that this Android thing is massive. It really is a big deal and will be getting exponentially huge before too long…

P.S. Blackberry/ Window OS? Literal worst.