Things Old People Have

HAPPY NEW YEAR, NICE GUYS AND GALS! I hope you all had a beautiful holiday!

I got a couple of weeks off between semesters and I spent a good chunk of my break cleaning out an old person’s basement. OMG FUN! It was actually super fun. Not even being sarcastic. I love looking through old people’s shit.

Basically, my mother’s best friend is this wicked old Indian dude (don’t ask how that happened) and he lives in the house right next door to my mother’s house. I don’t think I should give his real name so let’s just call him OldNiceMan. Recently, OldNiceMan had a pretty bad stroke (duh, he’s like 300 years old) and he has become slower and lost some of his eyesight. So, my mother asked me to go through his basement and clear out any junk and basically put everything away into boxes because he can’t do it anymore.

This is what I found when I got down there:

WHAT THE FUCK? HOW MUCH STUFF CAN ONE NICE MAN HAVE?!

I guess it’s pretty much the result of accumulating everything under the sun for 76 years. And that’s only one corner of the basement!

After working for 8 hours straight I had accomplished this:

Not bad, eh? I was pretty freakin’ proud of myself. I spent the next 3 days working in that damp, dark, cold basement, listening to 90’s R’n’B interspersed with some Sam Cooke and dancing and screaming along to the songs while I cleaned. Even though it was backbreaking work, I actually had a BLAST doing it. The best part was going through the weird ancient stuff he had.

*Continue reading to go on a photographic adventure!*

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