Worst Human #3

This situation also has to do with my new apartment location (See Worst Human #1). So it’s my first time having a car on campus and I have a parking spot in the lot behind my building. It was my third day at my new apartment and I got back from running errands to find a mini van parked in my spot! I called the realty company to ask if maybe the person was just parked in the wrong spot, so they took the person’s license plate information and told me that no one with that car lived here and that I’d have to have them towed. Being the caring human that I am, I waited for an hour to see if the person moved their car…they didn’t. So I call the tow truck company and they get here in like five minutes. As I creepily watch the tow truck man from my bedroom window, I see a tiny little Asian woman standing next to him waving a piece of paper around like a psychopath. I was eventually asked to join the discussion and this girl and I realized we were both assigned the same parking spot. Obvi my realty company is a bunch of dickcreams. The tow truck man left and we settled the issue with my realty company. I tried to make light of the situation since this was the first time meeting my neighbor, but all she did was inform me that she didn’t have me towed when I was parked in her spot. Fucker. My realty company and this girl, worst humans.

Worst Human #1

Hopefully I can do this situation justice. So in the town where Zach, Brian, and I went to school, there are several Walmarts.  Since I moved to a different apartment once I started grad school, I decided to visit the Walmart I had never been to before because it would be closer to my new location.  Little did I know, it was in the middle of herda-hadda-ville*.  The entire experience was like literally being in a farming town with a population of 300 people.  As I was in the checkout line, I of course started eavesdropping on the couple in front of me.  It was a man and his pregnant girlfriend.  The man was buying a short sleeve button down shirt and proceeded to explain to the cashier that he was going to be cutting off the sleeves to meet his preggo gf’s family for the first time tomorrow at their family BBQ.  He also mentioned that he had the perfect “Larry the Cable Guy” hat to match with his ensemble.  F his life, I can’t believe humans like that exist.  I feel bad for the baby in that woman’s stomach.

*herda-hadda is a term taken from Uhh Yeah Dude (uhhyeahdude.com). It’s a phrase that represents the stereotypical southern U.S. citizen*